queering time

[written while listening to rachel blumberg]

I think about time–when I think about time — is it happening then? (when I think of it)
Is time constant or based on more permeable matter?
–If I leave it
If I return
If I am stopped
pulled out or in–

The nerve of a lifespan
to change
and time with it.

I think about the way my body operates so much of the time on existing data, partially always in a previously recorded loop, until I am stopped– my mind forced to receive time as new.

And the duration then so different, a hill among platitudes, queering time by being in it
and out of it

Otherwise, I have been tricked into thinking there is an increment of measure that supersedes / survives / could overcome my life’s duration
if only I keep count.